Monday 9 September 2013

World

The world is happy today. I can feel your happiness, dear world, in my bones- just as I feel the cracks in my skin, and the tickle of hair unbound but not free.

The world is happy today and I watch as you do a silent spectator. You are happy but you feel as I do only happiness in misery, you wonder as I do about a cruel world that will not wait to pick you up when you fall down running towards something you didn't believe would be. Cruel cruel world... oh how you mock me with you laughter and tickling bells while there is nothing but the stench of disappointment inside me, in everything you will let me touch.

I wait for numbness. I know from the muck you have forced me to witness that there will come a time when it will not matter, that the past. present and future will congeal to form a single moment that extends beyond the universe, where I feel nothing and hear nothing; I will be calmed by the unsteady beat of my own heart, numb to the pain it feels. You will take me there I know, but when? You have made me wait too long this time oh world of theirs, you heap your success on my failures squashing me lower than before and yet you will not let me escape.

Oh cruel cruel world, may you burn as I do. 

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