In another life, we would still be friends.We would sit on a terrace talking into the night of an escape into a better world; one where we would live free, stay giddy, be happy. We would make up lands where brave heroes would fight for honor and truth would keep the world safe. We would tell each other the darkest whispers of our crooked minds, keep our promises to each other.
In that life we would sit together and laugh at the failures that my life is and wonder at the occasional victory, making up stories of the world we could conquer. We would live our lives and share our heartbreaks. In that life I would see you and know you still. In that life, I would be less bitter, feel less betrayed, be in less of a hurry to distrust. I would believe that friendships must last forever, that anything that can change you must be special.
But we aren't friends and the long uncomfortable silences between us is filled, layer by layer, by the ruins of every universe we ever dreamed of. In the life we live, as I pack my bags to leave again, I can't tell you of my plans, we can't make a joke of my fears and I not allowed to wish anything for you. In the world we live in I smile and pretend you don't exist, knowing that to you I truly don't.
I hope that one day it will be possible again for me to think of you without feeling betrayed by myself, to trust you as I would a stranger. I hope that your dreams will come true that your heart be less broken that you be less bitter from the lessons life forced on you. I hope for you the happiness we dreamed. I will always miss the person you were and I hope with all my heart that true happiness finds you, that someday, when I hear of you from someone who knew us, what I will see is not the worlds we destroyed but a space in time we could be ourselves.
