My list of 25

I'm trawling saved drafts of blogs I wrote but didn't publish. I find this list as relevant now as I probably did writing it. Learnings to take to the grave only maybe?
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Here are the lessons I have learnt from my quarter life crisis, ones that I hope, in an alternate universe I am wise enough to learn earlier. So dear 25 years of my life, here is what you have taught me

1. It only gets as bad as I let it
2. My family might drive me to a point where I want to stab every vital organ out with a fork, but they're there. Always. Especially when I least deserve it
3. Sometimes, a fresh start with new people is all I need
4. Everytime, some indulgent self-loathing, self sympathy is all I need- I can be my best friend
5. Promises change just as priorities do. It is the principles that matter
6. It's ok to shop
7. It's ok to be broke
8. It's ok to love somebody or something- even a job that doesn't love you back.
   The magic is not in waiting, the magic (and might I add, satisfaction) is in knowing you gave it all you had and did not take no until you achieved what you set out to- surprise yourself
9. It's ok to call in sick when you feel like the world has folded on itself. Take the day, find yourself and go back and show ém why you matter while the sick day doesn't
10. Sometimes, just let it play out. Some battles you win from walking away
11. Let other people stand up for you. It doesn't make you weak, and it is ok to be taken care of
12. A hang over is not good, lime juice on the other most certainly is. And watermelon juice. And raw mango juice. And sweet lime juice. And orange juice (you get the picture)
13. People change, that's life. Today you matter to somebody tomorrow you don't. It's ok, you are still worthy of being the best damn person you know to be without needing somebody's validation of it
14. Trust your gut. You do not need permission to set things right
15.  Trust your gut. Some people are not worth it, some things are not.
    Trust your gut and do not be persuaded by guilt
16. Learn to speak many languages, especially your own tongue
17. Collaboration is a high like no other- listen to ideas, evaluate them, then put your spin on it, then let the other people put their spin on it, work at the collaborative idea until it's better than anything your mind came up with alone and revel in the brilliance of it
18. Do not let the good times go- celebrate them
19. Dirty laundry smells great after a good wash
20. Do not give up because somebody tells you to
21. A clean conscience is worth so much more than a stamp of approval
22. When you're telling a person to go to hell, if you say it right they will enjoy the ride and love you for it
23. You can't help the spite. Let. It. Go.
24. All it takes is an easily repeated signature. Do not get smart with banks or immigration officers- a signature is not a piece of art!
25. A handwritten note is magic.

A and her neighbor

I heard a story today. A cruel funny story about a human being as warm and beautiful as can be. I haven't laughed this hard in weeks (that feel like lifetimes) and I feel duty bound to write about it to induce that guilty jot in more people.
Let me warn you that I've met the heroine of this story once and have met nobody else, including the streets featured in this story before. I'm very likely to be making up the details and descriptions because I'm describing them as my mind's eye saw it.

A is an artist. The kind who creates magic not just from the art she produces and teaches but from simply breathing. Truly.
I have met her once, at a meaty barbecue party where I was vegan and knew very few people whom I hadn't met in years; but around A, everything was fun and perfectly hilarious- like I was in a Indie movie reflecting on life through the giggly haze of an evening in a hotbox.

Now A is the sort of artist who lives in a funny part of the world, around very funny people (no I certainly don't mean the ha-ha kind of funny) because the rents are cheap and she won't have to take on a third job to pay rent- I understand this pain and applaud her perseverance. You would too if you have ever been paid badly to follow your dreams; you should irrespective.

Now A, as anybody else who lives alone and has a job, doesn't get to shop very often; and as with every person who doesn't live off their mummy and daddy and gets paid peanuts and then some and lives in a busy city, uses public transport or two feet to get around. As a result of all this, one not so sunny evening A walked back with her arms full of her shopping for probably the month. One step after another, achey head, achey hand and shoulders that would probably break soon from both boredom and exhaustion if the plastic bags didn't snap first.  

She was almost at the gate of her building when she saw a hyperactive ten year old boy fly off the landing and run towards her with a big smile across his face.
Now who doesn't want a smile after a long day right?
Except A, as wonderful as she is, and as optimistic as her outlook on life is- knew that when that particular boy, had that particular smile on his face she is better off dropping her bags and running as fast as her feet would carry her. But A is A- sunshine, hope and endless optimism so A slapped herself mentally and smiled back as the little boy stopped right in front of her, took a deep breath and spat out a big fat glob of mucus on her face.

And A stood with all her bags weighing her down laughing and crying and not moving a muscle as the mucus made it's slow slimey trail down from the top of her eyebrow to the creases in her neck.

I'm horrible. I'm still laughing as I write this.